A Lot To Loose But More To Gain
by thebloodlust23
Summary: Xander wants a date to the dance but not just any date, He wants Jesse. Pre vampire Jesse. Summary sucks i know but i didnt really have one planned out this was written on a whim after watching the first episode again yesterday. Please give it a shot.


A LOT TO LOOSE BUT MORE TO GAIN

A XANDER/JESSE STORY

A/N I DO NOT OWN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS THE ONLY THING I DO OWN IS THIS STORY. HOWEVER I WISH I DID OWN BUFFY IF I DID XANDER WOULD HAVE ENDED UP WITH JESSE AND JESSE WOULDN'T HAVE DIED. PLEASE GIVE THIS STORY A SHOT. READ AND REVIEW. PEACE LOVE AND JOY TO ALL WITHOUT FURTHER ADO I PRESENT MY STORY.

A/N2 THIS IS JUST A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL DANCE WHILE THEY WERE ALL STILL IN HIGHSCHOOL.

A/N3 THIS IS SOME SLIGHT AU.

A/N4 XANDER IS WAY OOC IN THIS STORY.

It was the day of the dance and Xander still didn't have a date he had a person he wanted to ask but he knew said person would say no. The person in question was his best friend in the entire world Jesse. See Xander had thought he was straight for a long long time. Even going so far as to ask Buffy who unsurprisingly turned him down because she already had a date. He even asked Willow who also had a date. And he was going to ask Cordelia but decided against it. But he really only wanted to go with Jesse. The only reason he asked Buffy and Willow was so he wouldn't be the only looser at the dance without a date. But with his luck that is where it was headed. He needed to grow a pair and just ask but the constant fear of rejection and the loss of friendship was almost too much to bear. It was free period and he was in the Library alone with Giles who was working on something. He started to think about Jesse and how much he loved him. His soft chiseled face his rippling muscles which he had seen multiple times in the gym locker room while changing Xander was getting discouraged when he heard the library door swing open and in flooded Buffy, Willow, And Buffy's date Owen.

"Hey Xander."

"Hey Xander."

"Yo Xan."

They all said in unison as they all came in to sit down. Willow plopped down in a chair while Owen and Buffy sat down on the table side by side. Smiling and giggling at each other which was all he needed something to make him feel worse.

"Hey guys."

"Buffy Owen will you two please act like civilized humans and sit in some chairs like people instead of barbarians." Giles said poking his head up from his work.

"Ok Giles sheesh lighten up."

"So Xander find a date yet?" Owen asked him.

"No not yet."

"Better get going before all the good ones or gone."

"The good ones are already gone and besides I only want one." Xander sighed deeply looking down at the floor.

"Sweetie just ask him im sure he will say yes." Willow said in her light tone.

"Yea Xan you got nothing to lose."

Xander exploded.

"That's easy for you to say! You sittin there all lovey dovey with Owen you two actin all cute and holding hands and shit I want that every day of my life and sitting here watching you guys enjoy it everyday fucking sucks. You're not in love with best friend Buffy I am and I have the best friendship I've ever had im my pathetic miserable life to loose so you look at me again and tell me I have nothing to lose." Xander got up and stormed out of the library leaving every one in shock.

"Let me go talk to him." Willow got up and left the room silently leaving Buffy and Owen still in shock. Buffy was shocked she had never seen Xander explode like that. And she wanted to make it right if Xander wasn't gonna take charge then she was gonna play match maker. A few minutes later outside the caf after Willow had calmed Xander down and had him apologize Buffy found herself in front of Jesse.

"Hey Jesse can I talk to you for a second."

"Sure but hurry its pizza day and im starving and if I don't get in line soon all of it will be gone."

"Don't worry this will be quick. Are you going to the dance tonight?"

"Buffy are you asking me out."

"No. Im already going with Owen."

"Yea I think im going to go. So if you're going with Owen then why are you asking me if im going?"

"It's for Xander."

"What Xander!?"

"Yea he is like head over heels for you and he has never said anything at the risk of losing his friendship with you. He exploded a few minutes ago after me telling him that if he asked you he had nothing to lose. And he went off on me like a rocket saying he had everything too loose but most importantly he had his friendship with you too loose if you said no. I had never seen him so angry and hurt before. So I decided to play match maker and ask you for him if he found out he would probably kill me. So will you take him to the dance?"

"Well sure I'll take him and im not one hundred percent sure but I think I feel the same for him."

"Good ask him after 5th period he will be in the library."

"Ok sure bye Buffy and hey."

She turned from walking away.

"Huh"

"Thanks'"

"You're welcome."

It was now A minute before fifth period was going to start and Xander was about to leave the library when Jesse walked in.

"Hey man I didn't see you at lunch where were you?"

"Oh I didn't have money for lunch and my mom didn't pack me anything so I stayed in here with Giles."

"Awe man what the hell you know I would have bought lunch for you."

Xander smiled for the first time today.

"Yea but I couldn't have asked you to do that for me."

"You know I don't mind."

"Yea but still. Anyway…." Xander sighed and looked down at the ground.

"Hey I wanna ask you something…."

"Sure what is it?"

"Will you go to the dance with me as my date?"

"Wh..wha…what"

"Will you be my date for the dance Xander?"

"Uh…I….I….I… Of course."

"How did you find out I wanted to go with you? I never told anyone about me but Buffy and Willow."

"You can thank Buffy"

"I should've known. "

"So I'll see you tonight you want me to come pick you up or you just want to meet in the gym?"

"Let's just meet at the gym. Besides Buffy, Willow and Owen are gonna pick me up in Owens dad's car. So let's just meet in the gym."

The bell sounded and Xander and Jesse made their way to their respective classes. In class Xander couldn't contain himself he was so happy. But by the time the final bell sounded the paranoia started to set in.

What if this was nothing but a cruel prank. What if Jesse stood him up. What if what it what If. It was a whirlwind of what if's going on in his mind and he was suddenly feeling Miserable again. Xander grabbed his back pack out of his locker and his skateboard and headed to the closest dollar store he managed to get 2 dollars out of all the change he had in his pockets and the lost change he found in the bottom of his back pack and bought a thing of Irish spring body wash which he knew was Jesse's favorite and some pumpkin spice shampoo wish he also knew was Jesses favorite. He had remembered once that he and Jesse were hanging out and he had said that the Old Spice that Xander wore was too abrasive and musky for his taste. Once home even though he still had his doubts and insecurities he started getting ready. He took off his clothes and looked at himself in the mirror and sighed at his body even after joining the swimming team his body hadn't bulked up much. He got in as the hot water rolled off his body he put a generous amount of the Irish spring in his hand and lathered up his body he imagined Jesse getting in behind him and lathering up his body instead of himself and then he reached down to his increasingly hardening length and imagined Jesse's warm wet body pressed up against him pumping him fast. With a few more pumps and a breathless moan of Jesse's name Xander came. Once off his high and Back to reality realizing it had only been a fantasy he couldn't help but feel hopelessly alone and cold. He finished his shower after washing his hair. He got out and put a towel around his lower half he walked to the sink brushed his teeth and spent the next hour trying to fix his hair in a way he though Jesse would like and then he went to the closet and started the hardest task of all finding a great outfit. He searched and searched helplessly until he discovered a black and grey sweater that didn't look too bad and a pair of lightly dark faded jeans. He looked and decided that since this was the only nice thing he could find that it would have to do. He was worried that his friends would look way better than he did and he was also worried that Jesse wouldn't like what he had on. But he hoped it would do. He sat down on his couch and watched some random show for a few hours until he heard the car horn. He went out to the car and Saw Buffy in the front next to Owen. And Willow in the back alone. Xander got in the car and they were on their way.

"Willow where is your date?" Xander asked.

"Oh he is meeting us there. But I heard the good news your going with Jesse"

"Yea thanks to Buffy."

"It was nothing. Im just glad your happy."

"Yea great." He was in fact miserable the demons in his head kept telling him that something was going to go wrong or that this was just a dream everything wasn't real. And one of his fears had already been realized. Buffy Willow and Owen looked better than he did. Buffy was in a blue sequin gown with light makeup small diamond ear rings white high heels and a white purse. Willow was in a Black dress with no make up small golden hoop ear rings and black shoes. Owen was in a regular white tee shirt with a Blue Button up shirt the same color as Buffy's and black dress pants.

"You look great Xander really sharp."

"Thanks Will's." he knew she was probably just saying that to make him feel better he knew he looked like crap compared to his chic friends. They arrived at the dance and he let out a loud sigh. Out in the hall way of Sunnydale high the music could be heard. They walked past the place where couples could get their photo taken and some couple was making kissy face at each other while the photo was snapped and Xander just shook his head. Once inside the gym the atmosphere was rather nice. Balloons were strewn all over streamers off all kinds of colors where everywhere. A Dj was in the corner music was coming out of the large speakers colorful light were rigged up along with a disco ball for slow dances Xander assumed. Two strobe lights were also among the light's and then there was the punch bowl and the all the snacks that were out. Then the row of chairs out for people to take a breather or sit if they didnt have a date. Cordelia came up to all of them smiling with her date in tow.

"Hey guys what did you think did the cheer leaders not out do themselves its even better than last year."

"Yea Cordelia it looks great."

"Hehe I know have fun guys" She pulled her date onto the dance floor. Buffy and Owen followed automatically hitting the dance floor. Willow found her date and started dancing with him. Xander looked around every were but there was no sign of Jesse sighing out loud he went over to the punch bowl and poured himself a cup. Then went over to the row of empty chairs and took a seat. He planned on being stood up so he pulled out a flask he had filled with vodka and poured some in his drink. After about an hour he was about to give up and start waking home when he saw Jesse come into the gym. He looked very handsome he had on a green sweater similar to Xanders only in a different color blue jeans that fight right and accentuated all the right places especially Jesses butt which was Xanders favorite part of Jesses flawless body. He walked up to him looking slightly happy but also upset.

"Jesse what took you so long I though you stood me up."

"Id never stand you up." Xander blushed.

"It took me a while to get ready I couldn't decide what to wear and then my hair it was all a big mess. I caint believe that you thought id stand you up."

"Well to me your perfect and you would have looked good in anything. And there is a lot of stuff you don't know about me. As a friend I was all happy and joyful but it was all fake. As a boyfriend I have some serious issues that need to be worked through."

Jesse took Xanders hand.

"Well then I say we start working through them right now together."

Jesse leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to Xanders lips. Xander smiled for the second time that day into the kiss. And then as Xander broke their first kiss a soft and slow song come through the speakers. Jesse lead Xander out to the floor and Put his arms around Xanders hips and Xander latched his arms around Jesses neck. Soon they were swaying around and around to the soft music. And Xander had his head nestled in the crook of Jesses neck. Smiling too himself. For the first time in his life Xander felt warm he felt loved he felt special. It just goes to show when it comes to love you may have a lot to lose if it doesn't work out but more to gain if it does.

_BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER_

I HOPE YOU ENJOYD IT ALSO A LITTLE INFO I HAD NEVER INTENDED TO MAKE XANDER SO OOC BUT WHILE WIRITING THAT'S JUST HOW IT HAPPENED I HOPE YOU LIKE IT PLEASE REVIEW. NO FLAMES.


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